grEGGs!

I finally have a source for free range eggs:  My co-worker Greg.  These are his eggs.

In today's delivery, Greg decided it would be awesome if he took a Sharpie and wrote on the eggs.  As his marketing guru, I think it's equal parts frightening (what the hell is that Sharpie ink going to do when I hardboil my morning egg?) and fracking hilarious.  (**UPDATE** According to the henmaster himself, he's using a food-safe ink on his "wise cracks."  EXCELLENT!)

Here's a sampling of Greg's wit and wisdom ... "Liquid Chicken Enclosed"; "Am I in Mazeppa?" (that's where Greg's from - where my precious liquid chickens come from) and other odd little endearing things.  Still not sure where "Trout" comes from.

My favorite egg is the one on the very left.  You can't see the whole message, but here's what it says: "Your frying pan is hot!"

Oh how I love my grEGGs.  We're working on marketing as we speak.  In the meantime, my beloved Rochester peeps - I might be able to score you some eggs - I need to talk to the Henmaster himself though to find out what the production sked is.

P.S. - In case you're wondering why some off the eggs have smeared ink, Greg found out that it's easier to write on an egg when it's warm from the chicken.  Not cold.  Didn't know that until today.

Giada's Chocolate Chip Cookies

Someday I need to do a bake-off of chocolate chip cookies, because by virtue of the man I married, I end up baking a lot of this variety because it's his favorite. 

This is Giada DeLaurentiis' version of chocolate chip goodness. Supposedly, she loves them so much that she baked over 200 of them for her wedding reception.  I cannot attest that they are that good, but you really can't go wrong with butter, sugar, chocolate chip cookies, oats, eggs and flour.

Yes, that's a garden hose you are seeing in the background.  Just focus on the cookie goodness.

One note - I think the next time I make these, that I would up the oats content to 3/4 of a cup or a whole cup.  These aren't the sturdiest cookies that I've ever made and I think additional flour or oats would make these a bit better and reduce them spreading all over the fracking cookie sheet.

Thai Coconut Curry Shrimp

I had never tried Thai food until I was a reporter in Manitowoc, Wisconsin.  There, within walking distance of the newspaper office, was Newey's - an authentic Thai restaurant run by Newey Boonperm, a Thailand native who happened to marry a Wisconsin girl.  I would go into detail about this amazing restaurant, but I'm not going to torment you - Newey's is no longer.  All I know is that a lot of my reporter's salary went towards Newey's pad Thai, his amazing curry dishes and Thai coffee.

So when I was looking for some calorie-friendly Asian-inspired dishes the other day, I didn't even regard my husband's suspicion of seafood when I made this dish from Gina's Weight Watchers Recipes site.  It wasn't as good as Newey's cooking, but it didn't matter - it was Thai-inspired food made in my very own kitchen.  And my husband went for seconds.  I call this a winner.

You can find Gina's recipe here.

Olive Foccacia

OK, so now I'm getting a little cocky.  But given my ability to bake with yeast and needing to bring something to nosh for a recent get together with friends, I decided to try this recipe from The Pioneer Woman:  Olive Foccacia.

I taste better than I look.

Here's the deal - I don't care if you're afraid to bake with yeast like I am, it is time to get over the fear and make this.  Now.


What's even better about this is that the recipe is basically pizza dough that's studded with olives.  So now you have a double-duty recipe that can be made into pizza crust or modified into a kick ass appetizer.

Thank you, Pioneer Woman.

Milk Bread

It took a couple of absolute fails and while I'm far from actually being excellent, I'm slowly getting over my fear of baking with yeast.

Oh yes, my friends - I am finally baking real bread.

The first recipe that I tried was one from King Arthur Flour.  It said it was foolproof and included potato flakes, but this fool could not master the recipe and I produced something that looked like one of the paver stones from my garden.  My husband gamely tried it and nearly broke a tooth.  We didn't eat the rest of that loaf.

Then I was trolling the interwebs and I found this recipe from Fork Spoon Knife.  It's called Milk Bread and it has flour, milk, sugar, salt, oil (I used olive) and yeast.  It's not the sexiest loaf of bread out there, but it has provided me with some training wheels.  It's really good fresh out of the oven with some salted butter and it provided a really decent base for Giada's Crack Cheese Garlic Bread.

But most importantly?  I'm finally baking bread!

Grandma's Coleslaw Dressing

Saturday marked an extra-special event in my life - my oldest nephew Kyle celebrated his graduation from high school.  I've known Kyle since he was a small boy (not to confuse anyone, but he's my sister-in-law's son from a previous relationship, so I met him when he was probably six or seven years old.) and while he usually confounds me with his hairstyles and baggy pants, I'm very proud of him.  (I'm still jealous from the super awesome red color he achieved four summers ago - my grandpa had passed on and Kyle had pink hair.  Since that wouldn't do for a funeral, he slapped a brown shade over that and it just looked gorgeous.  Bastard.)

These are three of my four nephews - Cody, Kyle & Jordan - this is while we were hiking in the Badlands last summer.

Because I rarely show up for family events and when I do, I'm usually empty handed, I asked his mom what I could bring to the graduation party.  She told me a salad, my mom told me to bring coleslaw and specifically to use my late grandma Sophie's recipe for the dressing.

This is my late grandma Sophie.  The adorable chunky monkey she is smooching is none other than yours truly.

Grandma Sophie's Coleslaw Dressing

1 pint mayonnaise (do not use low fat, do not use Miracle Whip, do not even think about cheating on this ingredient or I will thump ya.)
6 T. sugar
6 tsp. vinegar (I used apple cider ... I think that any kind can suffice)
1 c. heavy cream
dash of pepper (in my maddening, frou-frou way, I used freshly ground black peppercorns.  Because I'm contrary like that.)

My mom usually takes a clean jar (canning, leftover peanut butter container or even the jar that the mayo came out of) and measures in the ingredients.  Then she puts the cap back on it and shakes it like mad.  If you don't want to do this, you can dump all the ingredients into a bowl and whisk together.

I doubled this recipe and used it to dress three pounds of pre-shredded coleslaw mix. (It was a graduation party - I wasn't messing around.)  I had about a cup of leftovers.  And it was good.  Not Grandma Sophie good, but good enough to make my momma happy.

Homemade Blueberry Muffins

Over Memorial Day weekend, we had the "southern Mahannahs" up (that's how we refer to our brother and sister-in-law.)  For Saturday morning brunch, I cut up a bunch of fresh strawberries and mixed them with red seedless grapes and blueberries.  And because I had a ton of fresh blueberries on hand, I decided to mix up a batch of blueberry muffins.  This recipe is adapted from Land 'O Lakes.

Homemade Blueberry Muffins

1 cup milk
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 egg, slightly beaten
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
Coarse sugar for sprinkling on top (used about 1 T.)

Heat oven to 375°F. Combine milk, 1/2 cup melted butter and egg in large bowl. Add all remaining muffin ingredients except  blueberries; stir just until flour is moistened. Gently stir in blueberries.

Spoon batter into greased or paper-lined muffin pan.  Sprinkle the top with coarse sugar (I use raw sugar from Crystal.) Bake for 22 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. Cool slightly; remove from pan. (**Note, because I wanted HUGE muffins, I used a Texas-style muffin pan.  I increased the cooking time to 27-30 minutes.)